I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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