I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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