...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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