I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
