i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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