that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
