Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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