Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
