I will die if light touches me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
