they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
