OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
