Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
