apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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