shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
