Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
