i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
