I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
