belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
