You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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