i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I could fuck to npr.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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