If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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