it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
