and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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