Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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