I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
