I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
