it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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