who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
