i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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