yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
