the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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