Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
