Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
