We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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