shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
