great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
