everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
