and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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