I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My penis needs a shock collar
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
