Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
