I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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