Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
