Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
