chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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