i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
