the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
