So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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