So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
