went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
