omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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